Theologically I am muddled, woolly, mostly confused. I waver irregularly from belief to non-belief. I wonder quite frequently if we have been conned for over 2,000 years, lulled by the “comforts” of religious teaching, into believing there must be more to life and all creatures’ existence on this strange and miraculous and wondrous planet in this awesome solar system, within an unimaginably mighty universe, probably in itself within an uncountable number of other universes, going on, to the best of our understanding, for ever and ever, amen.
So the mysteries, in this tiny tiny corner of all that vastness, of Christ’s suffering, the empty tomb, the resurrection, which appear to have baffled and are still baffling even the greatest theologians who have ever lived, provide me with an ongoing mixture of doubt and hope – doubt as to how, impossible and improbable as they seem, they can possibly have happened if God is so loving and so good and so forgiving, and as to how they can have persisted for so long after the events; hope that “there MUST be something in it” for it to have converted and persuaded so many millions of people for so long.
Yes, I hope I am able to convince myself, there surely HAS to be something at the back of it that is true. And if EVERYONE could find that something – it would indeed, as Abelard put it, bring back the whole world. That would be a good start… for me and perhaps for someone else.